Years ago, at a former job, I stumbled upon a hand-out that someone had left on the copy machine. After glancing at it and reading a few sentences, it had grabbed my attention. At the start, the handout contained writings from an excerpt from “The Road Less Travelled” by M. Scott Peck.
The excerpt starts with the statement, “Life is difficult”. It goes on to say that this statement is a "great truth…one of the greatest truths”. Later, Peck states, “What makes life difficult is that the process of confronting and solving problems is a painful one”. As anyone who’s lived beyond 1st grade can attest, life, simply put, IS difficult. At times it can be painfully so. Not only is life difficult because of the problems we face, oftentimes the process of “confronting and solving” those problems is difficult as well.
One paragraph from the excerpt that has always struck a chord with me. It states...
“Discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life’s problems. Without discipline we can solve nothing. With only some discipline we can solve only some problems. With total discipline we can solve all problems”.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines self-discipline as: “correction or regulation of oneself for the sake of self-improvement.” Now, I can’t say that I am in 100% agreement with Mr. Peck when he states,"with total discipline we can solve all problems”. There are certainly some problems in life that cannot be solved no matter how disciplined an individual may be. But generally speaking, I do agree with him. I believe the more disciplined we are, the fewer problems we are likely to have, and we are able to solve more of the problems that we do have.
Right now, I’m thinking about how all of this relates directly to the program we have here at The Well Being. A program that combines traditional outpatient counseling services with a fitness center and helps improve our client’s mental health through the combination of therapy and exercise. Because within that program, a big part of what we do is give support to our client’s efforts at self-discipline by providing them with accountability in both areas.
In counseling we engage our clients in the process of helping them confront and solve their problems, which, at times, can be a process that is painful or difficult. A person may have to take a hard look at themselves, their lives, their behaviors, their relationships, etc., and make changes in their life that are hard or difficult but also necessary.
Engaging in work with a therapist can be very difficult, but the difficulty is crucial to healing. Figuring out the “problems” a person is dealing with in their lives is one thing. Solving those problems is, at times, something else entirely. A therapist may push their client to address a situation in their life that is causing them pain or distress. They may assign “homework” regarding issues/concerns discussed in session that they want their client to work on in between sessions. Oftentimes this homework brings with it a certain level of difficulty to engage in or complete. It could be something as simple as having someone who is acrophobic take the elevator in their building instead of the stairs, or something as complex as dealing with childhood trauma. What’s important is the individual faces these difficult things and actively works to address them. Doing so can push them out of their comfort zone. And doing this thing that’s difficult for them to do is certainly something that can take discipline to fight through in order for things to improve. The accountability that the therapist provides in this regard is invaluable.
Then, there is the exercise aspect of our program. To have any level of consistency with exercise, self-discipline is a vital part. Exercise is tough. It’s hard. It can feel like a chore. This is why our therapists and fitness instructors regularly follow up with our clients by checking in on their progress with exercise. Because if our clients know we are going to be asking about it, that sense of accountability we provide can be the difference maker in terms of whether or not that client is able to get themselves to do this thing that they don’t want to do, but know they need to do.
Not all of us can be like David Goggins. In fact, I think David Goggins may be the only person in the world who is like David Goggins. I think most people struggle at times with being self-disciplined. I know I do. I think most of us, by far, have situations in life where they need to be held accountable by some person or some other thing that exists outside of themselves. Being self-disciplined is no easy task. Sometimes we need all the help we can get.
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