Finding the Right Therapist

As a practicing therapist, I may be a bit biased when I say that going to see a therapist can truly be a great and wonderful thing.  We ALL have our struggles.  We all have things that we need to talk about, and going to see a person whose job is to be solely focused on you and your life and your needs while coming at you from a curious, nonjudgmental perspective can be a great thing.  Even more so when you genuinely connect with your therapist individually, as a person. 

Normally what causes someone to start seeing a therapist is some level of problem, pain or discomfort.  It’s not always pleasant.  It can be difficult or uncomfortable.  There can be tears…lots of them.  But there can be fun and laughter as well.  When I hear laughter coming out of one of the therapist’s offices at The Well Being, it is something that brings me great joy.  I love it, because it means that that therapist and that client have connected with each other on some level.  It also means that, at that moment, the client is having a good experience.

Unfortunately, as this article shows, the experience of going to see a therapist is not always positive.  Over the years, I’ve heard quite a few stories about what I would consider to be “bad therapists”.  While I've never heard of a therapist shaking a maraca in their client's face in order "pick up the energy they were giving off in session", like the one mentioned in the article, I have heard quite a few other stories. I have been told by clients about previous therapists who couldn’t remember anything that was talked about in previous sessions.  Or, therapists who kept checking their watch during the session.  Or therapists who, through their words and/or body language indicated that they really didn’t seem to care about their client.  Therapists who spent large amounts of time talking about themselves, or therapists who simply appeared uninterested or unengaged.  At times when I’ve heard these stories, I’ve found myself apologizing “on behalf of the profession” because I know the damage that this can do.  One bad experience with a therapist has the potential to shut a person off from ever trying therapy again.  And that sucks when that happens, because there are so many good ones out there. 

Probably the best way to find a good therapist is to get a referral from a friend or family member you are close with and that you trust.  If they went and saw “so and so” for therapy and said they had a great experience, the chances are you’re going to have a good experience as well.  But if you’re left to pick one from doing a Google Search, or better, Psychology Today, there is a way you can find a good one.   

The recommendation is to go about finding a good therapist it in the same manner you would go about buying a new car.  Read whatever information you can on some local therapists (bios, Google reviews, etc), pick one, and take them out for a “test drive”.  If you like how it feels, go again.  If you like it even more, then plan on staying for a while because you likely found a good one for you.  If you don’t like how it feels, test drive another one and keep “test driving” therapists until you find the right one.  That person is out there, trust me.  And it’s worth making the effort to find them. 

But you might want to start off the conversation by asking them if they have any plans of using "energy locating maracas" during your course of treatment.